The Deal You Never Made

 I get what you're saying, but I never claimed there's always calculation behind it. There's a difference between what someone intends and what the sentence does.

Even when it comes out of awkwardness, from someone who can't say a hard thing straight, the effect is the same. Your reaction is written off before anything lands. Different motive, same mechanism. Most people using it don't realize they're doing it. That's not the interesting part.

I agree about the point. Content is what should be judged. But the opening line is information too. If someone needs it, they'd already factored in how it would land. That proves nothing on its own. It's just one more thing to know.